March 19, 2012 § Leave a comment
So today we start anew. Don’t worry friends, there will still be plenty of food- but it’s not going to the sole purpose of my blog any longer. I figured A) I wasn’t very good at it, and B) well, I still think people can relate to me in other areas of my life as well, so why don’t I start sharing that too?
Not to start out on the wrong foot, but, I must be honest with you friends, and if you’re my friend in real life and not just the interwebs, this is not news to you, I’ve been in a rut. Like no joke. It’s been, say, about a year, and if we dial it back a wee bit, nearly 2. I’m so eager for things to turn around, and get back on track. There’s only so much I can do about certain things, but, it’s high time I start putting me first in the areas of my life that I do have control over. First things first, I gotta start with number 1, me, moi, my fabulous self; which ain’t feeling so fabulous these days. Here’s the game plan (some of which is already in motion) :
Step 1: Break-up with my horrible boyfriend who made me feel bad most of the time.
It was for the most part mutual, but dang, still hurts to be back at square one. Dating is exhausting. I feel like Charlotte in an episode of SATC when she’s hungover at brunch complaining to the girls, “I’ve been dating since I was 15, where IS he?” I feel ya girl. But. Let’s focus on another quote from the legendary Ms. Whitney Houston, “I’d rather be alone than unhappy.” And I was unhappy for most it, I just didn’t want to admit it, because I really really really really didn’t want to feel like I failed yet again. Plus, it’s hard when everyone you know is getting married and to then feel like “that girl” at the party. It’s such a cliché, but for a good reason. It all of the sudden happens and you’re the only one without a buddy, feeling like you missed the boat. However, we must not dwell, we must move on- onwards and upwards, to better things.
Step 2: Get back in fighting shape.
To do that I am starting a couch to 5k plan from Fitness Magazine. I’ve run a 5k before, in fact, I used to run quite a bit. And workout. Like 5 days a week. We’re talking spin class, kettle bells, 90 minute boot camps. Cray. It was fun, but I guess I never appreciated fully or noticed how good of shape I was in- until I wasn’t anymore. I think the disconnect comes because when I was at my thinnest (about this time two years ago) I was coming off a horrible break-up, and just wasn’t happy with me. I wasn’t thin for the right reason and slowly, over the past two years, I’ve gained it back. This is by no means a vanity thing, but I just don’t feel good and I miss my clothes. Every day I open my closet and think, “Who is this skinny bitch that bought all these size 4 clothes? Really?” I need a motivating plan and this seemed like a good way to start. Especially since I can’t afford a gym membership right now I gotta do this on my own, be it running/walking, yoga/pilates at home, whatever it takes, I just want to feel good & healthy again.
The diet part I’ve got (most of the time). For Lent this year I wanted to revisit my no-processed foods challenge, and have been doing pretty well. My favorite lunch these days? This. I can’t get enough. It’s easy, portable, and delicious.
Step 3: (and this one’s the hardest) Find what it is that makes me happy in life professionally.
This I’ve been working on for a solid year. My job has been great- it’s secure, has great benefits, it’s pretty cushy (10-6), but it’s not fulfilling. At all. I’ve been looking for other opportunities and trying to figure out what the next best step is, but it is brutal out there. To be honest, I’d take, just ok and not miserable at this point. Slowly but surely I’ll get there, I know I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, but it is tiring to feel lost & rejected. Hmm… sounds like dating most of the time, no?
You can maybe begin to understand the rut now, rejection personally, rejection professionally. Ya. Cool. Thank goodness for my friends. They have been hands down, my saving grace.
So there we have it.
I’d like to think of this space as a journal where I’ll keep y’all posted on the 5k training, the woes of dating in Boston, and anything fun & new that comes up in the career world. I know I’m not unique, I get it, your 20s are hard, and can be confusing and awkward, but it’s sometimes nice to hear someone else putting it out there.
A lot of the blogs I read are fabulous, but the women (mostly lady blogs I read- style-food-life) are so put together, everything seems SO fabulously perfect, that while it is something I’d like to aspire to- sometimes you want the nitty-gritty, I fell on my face today, burnt a cake, got dumped and cried at work. (Hopefully not all in the same day, yowsers.) I’m not trying to be negative, trust me. I know a lot of people have it much worse, and I’m not trying to complain and air my dirty laundry. I guess what I’m trying to do is say, “hey, I get it, we aren’t all perfect, here’s how I’m handling it, and frankly, a lot it is pretty funny so let’s gossip.”
Shall we? Ok. Cool. I can make us friendship bracelets if you want to make it official.